July 24--Classes 23, 24 and 25

To my absolute astonishment, my second class on Tuesday was one of my best practices ever. I would have thought that getting up early and practicing and then going to the office for eight hours would have left me with nothing to give in a second practice but it felt like I was melting into poses like I had not before. Maybe I was so excited about doing it and being back on track that adrenaline carried me through. Or maybe I was so tired I had no fight left in me. I don’t know. I just know that I enjoyed it far more than I would have thought possible.

Of course yesterday quickly took the wind out of my sails. It was so hot in class Wednesday night I thought I would die. Couple that with an egg that I had eaten for dinner (even though about two hours before class) that seemed stuck in my esophagus and a bladder that was unusually full in the middle of class that required a bathroom break after wind removing pose (which I have never had to do) and saying that I struggled through class would be an understatement.

Then, I realized I had a commitment this evening which meant I either had to do another early morning class (UGH!), double up again (double UGH!) or, even as close as I am to 30 classes, call it quits. The thought of doubling up again, despite the great class I had on Tuesday, is about as distasteful as the thought of quitting at this point. Consequently, I set my alarm for 5 AM this morning. It is amazing the sense of accomplishment I have just getting to class this early in the day, and now I feel like whatever else I get done today is just icing on the cake. I hope I don’t fall asleep in my meeting tonight though. Just five more classes to go !!! I think I can. I think I can! I know I can!

July 22nd--Classes 21 and 22

I decided yesterday, after my regular Monday morning class with Leah (9AM), that I will definitely try to do two classes today despite the ridiculously early hour of 6:15AM for the first class. (I am so NOT a morning person.) I worked 1PM to 9PM for many years for a reason. However, I figure I can do this, just this one morning, just this one day, just this one time (and if not I can always blow off the second class at 7PM and try to double up again on Saturday morning). I am surprised to find recently how often I hear people say, “I could never do that.” I don’t know if they always have or if all of a sudden the phrase just catches my ear. I want to tell them you have no idea what you can do. I mention this, because I realize I say that I am not a morning person and with every utterance, I become less and less of a morning person. So as a point of clarification—I have no desire to be a “morning person.” I can and will do what I need to do on occasion to catch a plane, to go for a run/walk with my friends on a Sunday morning (I haven’t forgotten Anita), or to catch up on my yoga classes, but other than that if my head is still on my pillow at 8 AM that’s OK by me.

I was amazed yesterday to find that the heat was working and the room was hot and I was sweating but I didn’t struggle with it at all. I don’t know if I’m adjusting to the heat outside or if I’ve been well hydrated or some combination of things but I enjoyed practice yesterday. It’s not always like that for me. Sometimes the heat really takes my breath away from me, but not yesterday and not this morning either.

I continue to struggle with balance as I raise my eyes higher and higher in the standing poses. I can be steady as a rock if I am looking down but I realize that’s not where I want to be, so although I wobble and struggle in my standing poses, I laugh to myself as I try to master this nuance of gaze. It seems the more I look at my wobbling leg the more I wobble—UGH!—but I will not look down. I don’t know if it’s my zodiac sign or my Italian heritage, but I will not accept defeat and I will not back down. Maybe I’m stubborn, maybe I’m blessed with persistence, either way I’m having fun playing with the postures. While I have already confessed to working on unwrinkling my brow in a mirror at home, I almost never “strike a pose” outside of class. Consequently, I find myself anxious to get to my next practice to try a posture again. When you make a little adjustment to a posture like I have been with my eyes, you only have the two sets to try it out in which for me really leaves me wanting to try it again. Well today that will come soon enough, and then I will be back on track with my 30 classes in 30 days challenge. Hooray!

July 20th--Classes 18, 19 and 20

It occurs to me that listing the days is no longer accurate since I missed two days. I did make up one of them this Saturday by doing back-to-back classes (8 AM and 10 AM). If I am completely honest it was kind of anticlimactic for me. As I mentioned Friday, with the heat and humidity as high as it has been in the Philadelphia area, the heater at the gym has taken to cutting out as it senses it’s already too darn hot. This being the case, the yoga room was again not as hot as it usually is (maybe only 100 degrees). So, the back-to-back classes were not the struggle I thought they might be. Again the yoga gods have smiled on me (lest they think I am proud of myself.)

Today, however was another story indeed. Anita must have figured out a way to trick the heater because although it shut off a couple of times, it was hot enough to cook in there today. I sweat not just a puddle but an entire pond today. Now I’m thinking about when I will double up again because I don’t know how I would have done back-to-back classes today. I’m considering doing a 6:15 AM on Tuesday, going to work 9 to 5, then doing the 7 PM Tuesday night. On the one hand, spacing the classes out sounds good to me, on the one hand it sounds like a terribly long day. I’d like to do it and be back on track rather than wait until Saturday to do an 8 AM and 10 AM. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

I am aware of the fact that while I have fewer “breakthroughs” of measure, I notice different things in my postures every time I practice. I notice my forearms ache more, I guess because I am pulling harder in my bows and using them in toe stand where I hadn’t in the past. I notice I’m trying to bring my eyes up in both standing bow and balancing stick and this complicates the posture immeasurably for me. I also am working hard to not wrinkle my forehead as I gaze up during the back series postures (I need no help with the burrows in my aging forehead.) I find this to be as difficult a task as any. Truth be told, I’ve actually practiced in my bathroom mirror. I don’t want my forehead to be all wrinkled up, as I make a younger, healthier version of my body from the inside-out. I’m glad that this is Bikram’s “beginner’s” yoga and that all we’re doing is practicing. I feel like I fit right in that way.

July 18--Day Seventeen

I returned from attending my uncle’s funeral late last night. Philadelphia is notorious for being amongst the worst airports in the country and this trip did not disappoint. My flight was cancelled on the way out and I had to wait three hours in the airport and my flight back was delayed nearly two hours--but did I fret? Well, maybe a little but not publicly and not for long. I did get home after midnight though which made getting up this morning even more difficult than normal. I can honestly say the only thing that dragged my stiff--from sitting around airports and funeral homes and not doing my yoga for two days--body out of bed this morning was the thought of practicing again. This, in and of itself, is fascinating to me because I have never enjoyed any form of exercise so much that I would get out of bed to do it. In just two days, I have missed my friends. I have missed the heat. I have missed my mental quiet time. I have missed my yoga practice.

I am conscious that my back is feeling better but I have little expectation for my practice since I have done nothing but sit for two days. My work is physical so I do not often sit this much and when I do it does not agree with me. My intent is to just welcome my body back to motion. I am delighted to feel my body easing into its first forward bend, which was impossible for me earlier in the week. I tell myself that my body is smart and my body is strong. I am blessed, as are we all, with an intelligence inside my body that allows me to heal. I am grateful. I am focused. I’m not thinking about the heat, or my breathing, or my sweating. I am so comfortable and focused at one point during the standing series that I have no idea how long I’ve been in a posture. I think to myself that I am really getting good at this, only to find that the heat is not working quite right today and that it is probably 5 or 10 degrees cooler than it normally is. (Oh pride you ugly monster!)

All in all, it is a tremendous welcome back. The yoga gods smile on me today. My gift from Leah in class (besides her beautiful smile) is a simple reminder that it is important to go into your postures with a good grip. And if our practice mirrors our lives, than it’s equally important there too. As my husband continues to improve, the tire on my car is fixed, my body continues to heal itself, and I savor the memory of my family gathering to celebrate a life dear to us all, I feel like maybe I’ve got a grip on my life. The thought of doing back-to-back classes tomorrow morning (8 AM and 10 AM) actually brings a smile to my face. I want to get back on track with my 30 classes in 30 days.

July 15th--Day Sixteen

Last night on my way home from work (9:30 PM), I got a flat tire on the PA turnpike. All I wanted to do was get home and get in bed early. My back was killing me all day and I had been running around trying to get my home and life organized before I leave town for the funeral. It was a rather harrowing experience for me, not so much because I was alone in the dark (I used my cell phone to take advantage of my AAA membership), but because I was forced to wait on an abysmally small shoulder of the road as 18-wheelers went whizzing past me rocking my car like a little row boat in an ocean during the perfect storm. All I could do was close my eyes, practice my pranayama breathing and pray.

Fortunately, today was a new day indeed. My car dealer squeezed me in to get me a new tire today before I have to leave town and gave me a loaner for the day to get back and forth to work. My back seems to have taken a turn for the better and my practice seemed somewhat easier than the day before. I even did a few sit-ups. As I’m leaving the studio, I talk with Anita about how I will make the classes up. I know doing the two classes in one day on a day that I also have to work will be challenging but would doing two classes back to back on a Sat morning be even worse? Is it crazy to do an 8 AM and then a 10 AM class? Sounds crazy doesn’t it? Anita says that if I decide to do the two Saturday classes back to back that she will do them with me. How cute is she!?! She is an extraordinary woman--both sensitive and strong and it is a beautiful offer and all I need to commit to doing it. I know now that I can and I will. It may not be this Saturday, depending on how my travels go, but I will do it. My life has been challenging of late but this yoga continues to teach me. What did I write a few days ago: “What a fine line “our edge” is. It’s unquestionably worth trying--when you think you are at your edge, when you think that ‘s all the further you can bend, when you think you can’t hold a posture any more--just try a little bit more, 5 more seconds, or one more breath. You will amaze yourself. You are capable of so much more.” Having someone like Anita to encourage you is also highly recommended. If we all did, I’m certain the world would be a better place. Thank you Anita. You are a gem!

July 14th--Day Fifteen

I’m half way through my challenge today but am unquestionably struggling. I learned yesterday of a death in my family and spent the better part of the evening watching girl movies and crying. (“Martian Child” with John Cusack: cute movie but tear jerker and “Griffin and Phoenix” with Dermot Mulroney and Amanda Peet: modern day version of “Love Story”--just get the whole box of Kleenex and keep it with you). My back is killing me and completely inhibited me from doing any sit-ups in class as well as half tortoise and rabbit.

I plan to attend the funeral, which is in Pittsburgh and is going to necessitate my missing two days of class (Wednesday and Thursday). I am uncertain as to my ability to make up the classes but I commit to one day at a time. I want to do it and I believe that will see me through, though it seems this yoga challenge has been accompanied by real life challenges. I remind myself to breathe, inside and outside of class, and to accept things for what they are just as they are.

July 13th--Day Fourteen

When I get to the studio at 7 AM I am still in my early morning daze. Unfortunately, everyone that shows up today is a runner, no walkers in sight. I do not know the route we will take and don’t want to slow anyone down so I agree to run at least as well as I can. I did jog regularly for short distances (3-4 miles) in the past, but have not for over a year now and even then was never a runner. All I can do is try I decide and off we go. Gratefully, near the top of the first hill I talk Marcy into alternating walking and running with me. It feels good--the exertion, the sweating, the steps, the camaraderie. I am glad I came; I just wonder if I will pass out in class which starts at 9 AM.

We have some time to rest before class and I’m thinking this is going rather well as I sit on the sofa under the air vent sipping a cool refreshing beverage, smug with the thought that I didn’t just walk--I jogged, probably half of the 3-mile or so route. Then Anita says, ”OK, let’s get started.” Am I out of my mind or what? The class goes well but not exceptionally so and the nagging in my back seems only to be increasing. I begin to entertain the thought that maybe I need a rest. I don’t want to quit the challenge, but if I took a day off, how and when would I make it up? I could do a 6:15 AM before work on a Tuesday and then do the 7 PM class the same day. UGH! That’s awfully early and a super long day too! The thought is not very appealing to me and I think it better to keep coming and just take it easy as I need to.

July 12th--Day Thirteen

It’s Saturday morning and I still feel crummy. I’m beginning to think, however, that it is not because of my period as much as it is my back acting up, which it does on occasion. I’ve had a herniated and a bulging disc in my low back for years, which for the most part do not bother me, so I do not bother them. I have found that keeping my spine strong and flexible (i.e., weight training, regular chiropractic care, and now yoga) has unquestionably been better for it than anything else. When I have difficulty straightening up as I get out of bed this morning though, my husband says, “maybe you’re doing too much.” What a discouraging thought!!! “I don’t think so,” I answer. “I think it’s just something my body is going through. I think the more I move the better, but I’ll take it easy.” I promise him.

I feel bloated, stiff and heavy which compels me to step on the scale which is in plain view in my house these days as we monitor my husband’s congestive heart failure every morning. It occurs to me while I wait for the digital read out that I must be mad getting on the scale when I have my period which every woman knows can mean as much as a 5-pound fluid gain. To my delight, I find I am down five pounds. Hmmm…without any change to my diet whatsoever I have lost weight and at this the worst time of the month to weigh yourself. I shouldn’t say no change whatsoever really. It is a bit of a challenge trying to figure out when and what to eat really. I find I cannot eat at least 90 min before class and even then, what I eat is important unless I want to be tasting it all through class.

Class this morning is with Chris whose energy is contagious. I make a mental note though, that in my current state, my practice would benefit from my getting up a little earlier and warming up and stretching out a bit before class. I decide that I will commit to the 7 AM walk tomorrow morning.

July 11th--Day Twelve

I am feeling achy this morning. It’s that time of the month for me and while I have never really been significantly bothered by my period, I’m unquestionably bothered by cramps today, although they seem more in my back than in my abdomen. I‘m glad to see Leah’s smiling face in class and while I am frustrated in many of the postures today, her peace and calmness remind me that it is OK. She refers to my period as my lunar journey as she helps stretch me a little in wind removing pose which makes me laugh even in the middle of class. I’m 45 and I’ve never heard anyone refer to it that way. And yet that’s all it is--a journey, as is this challenge, which for the first time really feels like a challenge.

July 10th--Day Eleven

Another super busy day in the office, but this time I am anxious to get to class to enjoy my new found release from the stress of every day life. It’s like a little vacation in the middle of the day. I mentioned to some of the 136 people that I saw in the office today, as they see and comment on how busy I am and how well I handle the pressure, that I have been doing a 30-day yoga challenge. Many can’t believe how much time I am taking from my schedule to accomplish this task. (Forget about the disciplne required or the strength or flexibility--they just think about how much time it's taking--go figure!?!) As I see it, sure it’s a 90-min class and there is some time committed to getting back and forth to the studio and showering and all but all together it’s not but a little over 2 hours. Many people spend twice that much time watching TV every day. And to what benefit? Others spend that much time golfing, or talking on the phone, napping, or in the bar for heaven’s sake. So it’s really not a big deal. Everybody does something with their free time. I am choosing to do something that is changing my body and my mind from the inside out. Every organ, every tissue, every cell, bones to skin, benefits from this practice I am doing and I am aware of it as never before.

When I start my class today I am mindful of the others who have come to share their time and energy in this place with me. The room is not big and I am aware of everyone. I am grateful for their presence and for the next 90 minutes they are my brothers and sisters in this beautiful effort to make not only ourselves better but all those we come in contact with. I enjoy the practice. I am grateful for the practice. I have another breakthrough as I place my head back on the floor in fixed firm pose. Me--the girl who couldn’t get her rear on the floor between her feet in the sitting position last year--is leaning back with her elbows on the floor placing her head ever so gently down on the mat. This is amazing! What will I do tomorrow? Conquer the world?

July 9th--Day Ten

I have done weight training on Wednesdays for years and I wonder today how that will affect my practice. In fact, after weights today I play tennis with a friend and because it is hot I sweat a lot and I think maybe I won’t sweat so much during my practice. (huh! I will learn later what a silly thought indeed!) By the time 7 PM rolls around I‘m thinking today would definitely be another day that I would blow off my yoga class if it were not for my 30-day challenge. My calves are tight and I tell myself at the beginning of class that I will just take it easy and accept my body for where it happens to be today.

My hands meet on the right side in Eagle again today and I feel the twist working its way through my shoulders, my elbows, my wrists, my hands, and my fingers. It’s amazing how many joints this postures awakens. As I make my way through the standing series, I am painfully aware of the fact that my calves do not seem to be relaxing even in the heat of the room. I am often bothered by slight cramps in my feet, especially following locust pose (single and double leg lifts). However, they subside with stretching in the opposite direction after I release the posture. My calves however are just sore. So when I get to toe stand today, I tell myself that I will just bend over and get the floor and just stay there and let the stretch soothe my calves a bit. Ha! Then I hear Anita’s voice from somewhere urging me on. (How can she be so sweet and such a task master at the same time?) Down I go and glad for it. What a fine line “our edge” is. It’s unquestionably worth trying--when you think you are at your edge, when you think that's all the further you can bend, when you think you can’t hold a posture any more--just try a little bit more, 5 more seconds, or one more breath. You will amaze yourself. You are capable of so much more.

July 8th--Day Nine

MY WORD! IT IS HOT IN THAT ROOM!!! I’m dripping with sweat after the first breathing exercise and I’m wondering why I agreed to do a 30-day challenge in July! Wouldn’t it have been smarter to try this in February!?! I mean I’m just breathing and I’m literally dripping with sweat. It’s hot as heck in there. And hey why can’t I get my hands together in Eagle pose. Will I ever do that again? I am so slippery I can’t grab anything! I listen to the sound of my sweat dripping to the floor as I hold my poses. That’s distracting—but no more distracting than listening to the sound of the guy next to me’s sweat dripping to the floor as I hold my poses. Oh gees and is that my sweat splashed on the mirror in front of me. For heaven’s sake. Somebody open that door and get some air in here! I think I’m going to die. And then amazingly just before we go to the floor for the second half of the practice I complete another toe stand on the right side. Is this yoga unbelievable or what!?! Clearly, you go up and down through the course of a practice maybe up and down a few times. The trick is to learn to not panic. Stay with your breath.

July 7th--Day Eight

It’s Monday morning, which means class with Leah again. That’s great but I miss my friends who are also doing the challenge with me. I guess they are taking one of the later classes tonight. I am disappointed that I cannot find my hands in Eagle pose again and I realize I am distracted by others who do not move with the instructors words or who do thier own thing or who fidget. Then I realize I am distracted by all the things that are distracting me. Then amazingly, like a gift from heaven, just before we are to go to the floor series I complete my first toe stand. I can only do it on the right side but it is a major accomplishment for me. It quiets me and I make a mental note to just worry about me and not what others do.

Later, on my way to work, I notice I am driving slower than I normally do. In fact, it’s unbelievably close to the speed limit. Now that is truly amazing! Can it be that this practice is revealing itself in this manner? I know it has made me more patient and calmer—both good things that I can certainly use. But can it really be saving me money on gas now too!?! That might be just too good to be true!!! One way or the other, it's amazing and wonderful and delightful and I am grateful to my brother for introducing me to this yoga and to Anita and Scorpio for giving me a place to practice it.

July 6th--Day Seven

Oh my, my, my!!! I have another breakthrough today! If yesterday was terrific, I don’t know what to call today. Again, to have any appreciation for the breakthrough you have to know me. I have my whole life been amazed that I cannot touch my two elbows together in front of me. I have on occasion asked all sorts of different people to perform this simple task if only to find some company in my misery, if not a reasonable explanation for this. I’ve asked my 78-yr-old mother, my well-endowed older sister, my out-of shape husband. All of them can, with no effort whatsoever, bring their elbows together in front of their chests. (Go ahead you can try it. I know you want to. And chances are pretty good that you’re going to be able to do it too.) I am by no stretch of the imagination “well-endowed” in the chest area, so I’ve always assumed my inability to perform this task is due to tight shoulder muscles. I don’t really know. Consequently, my Eagle posture doesn’t look (nor has it ever) like anybody else’s in the room. Not guys, not girls, not newbies, not nobody. I simply cannot wrap my hands or my feet. Not to worry folks. Because of my life-long elbow shortcoming, I have been content to hang out in Eagle, wrapping what I can and just pressing the rest together. So imagine my amazement when I feel my fingers touching something and then find that what they are touching are each other. I look closely at my hands have I turned them some new way? How have I done this without even thinking about it? Will I ever replicate it? I don’t care. I am so silly with excitement that I can’t wrap my legs at all.

After class, I join Joy on a sofa for an apple and a blast of the air conditioning. She tells me that prior to class today she did a 3-mile walk/run with some of the other folks from the studio. I say, “Oh man, I couldn’t do that.” And before the words leave my mouth, I know I will now have to at least try it. This yoga is not just changing me physically it is changing me mentally. I have been told over and over, this yoga is not about the postures. It’s about trying and doing what you can and accepting ourselves for what we are and what we can do right now today. After all we are not our bodies. Our bodies are but a vehicle to carry our real selves around. So I know I must try the walk. Unfortunately, it starts at 7 AM. Doesn’t anyone want to sleep in even just a little? We’ll see what next Sunday brings.

July 5th--Day Six

I’m ready to go today. I don’t even care about sleeping in. I’ve agreed to spend a few hours in the office after my practice today and I just want to get to the 8 AM class (the only class today), grab a quick shower and get over there. I recognize three other girls from yesterday’s class, which makes me wonder if they are among the six other people who have agreed to do this 30-day challenge. I am amazed to find that in my standing head to knee posture, I actually kick my leg out and hold it there. To some that may seem like no big deal, but when I first started this yoga last year, I not only couldn’t kick my foot out, I couldn’t even grab my foot with my leg bent let alone balance on one leg for 60 seconds. Today, I am balancing on my left leg, focusing on that left knee, locking into one solid piece, like a lamppost, like I had no knee and from somewhere across the room I hear Anita’s voice “go ahead and kick out Judy.” And there I am, in a place my body has never been before. So it’s a huge big deal to me. It feels so tremendous that I have to giggle after I come out of the posture. Interestingly, I find I cannot possibly do the same on the other side, which makes me giggle even more. Our bodies are so amazing. We are not like anyone else and not even like ourselves from left to right. We are complicated and constantly changing. It has been something that has intrigued me from early on and one of the things that drew me to chiropractic. I am flying high and grateful that I have agreed to this undertaking.

At the end of practice Anita introduces me, Joy, Heather, and Wendy (the three gals I noticed) as four of the people doing the 30-day challenge. I feel like a celebrity. We are ordinary people doing something extraordinary.

Later, at the office, I’m apologizing to the gentleman I work with for not getting there a little earlier. I explain about the 30-day challenge and how the 8 o’clock class was the only one and I didn’t want to double up and he says, “Don’t worry about it. Whatever you’re doing, it's definitely working for you.” He can’t put his finger on it, but I definitely look different. So it’s not just in my head. Well, it’s definitely in my head but it's not just in my head. I am lovin’ the challenge and I wonder how I’ll go back to not taking class everyday.

July 4th--Day Five

Hmmmm…in the past, I may have thought a holiday a good time to sleep in, but not today. Generally, Scorpion Athletics offers several yoga classes through the day for members’ convenience, but today, tomorrow, and Sunday there is only one each day because of the holiday so I have no choice. (I suppose I still have choices: I can skip a day and then double up and do 2 classes in one day which I’m trying not to do or I can give up, which is not really in my nature.) I am delighted to learn that Leah is teaching the class. She is the amazing woman who brought Bikram yoga to Philadelphia (I suppose to the entire state of Pennsylvania) many years ago. Since then, the Philadelphia Bikram studio downtown has changed hands a couple of times but after a bit of a “sabbatical” she is back teaching classes and I am always happy to be in her class. She appears to me to be obviously serious about the yoga, but not too terribly serious about herself or anyone else or anything else which is so refreshing. She is easy to be with and always makes me smile.

I am also pleased to learn that Anita will be taking the class with us. I hope to watch her and see if I can’t improve my postures. However, as it turns out, the class is packed and afterwards I am struck with thought that even with a full house I don’t see anyone else during the practice but myself. It also occurs to me that not only did I not sleep in today, but I won’t be sleeping in tomorrow or any other day for the next 25 days and I am OK with that.

July 3rd--Day Four

Well, for the record, I would certainly not have gone to yoga today had I not been doing this challenge. I am a chiropractor in a rather busy office and because we will be closed tomorrow for the 4th, we were exceptionally busy today. I love my work but it is physical and more than that it is often emotional. Many of the people who come to our office use chiropractic as a means of staying well as opposed to treating some musculo-skeletal condition. These folks don’t just come and go with their aches and pains. They come regularly and lots of them have been doing so for years. Consequently, we have developed relationships and so on their visits they share the good and the bad that is occurring in their journeys through life. I love this part of my work as well, but it can be a heavy burden on a day like today when I see 146 people in one day.

I get home a little later than I normally would because of the crazy day, kiss my husband hello, change my clothes, get my water and my mat, kiss my husband goodbye, and get on my way. As Nike has so skillfully coined the phrase—“I just do it.” As my practice begins Anita tells us, “Just breathe and begin to focus on yourself as we start our 90 meditation.” It’s as if the words themselves gently shut the door on my day and I’m off to another world where everything is OK. There are no judgements and no expectations, just the present moment. Somewhere in the middle of my standing bow I realize I am more focused than I may have ever been in my life. I experience the posture like I never have before and even then wonder am I further down? Is my leg further up? Are my abs tighter? What is it? I don’t know and I don’t really care. It feels good. Now, I am struck with the realization that there may be no better way of letting go after a busy day whether you’re doing a 30-day challenge or not.

July 2nd--Day Three

Already I notice something is different about me. I have only done three days in a row once before and that happened to be my first, second and third classes ever, so I have nothing to compare my experience with. My husband’s recovery continues to my great relief and I wonder am I just enjoying the departure of the stress that situation has brought into my life or is this yoga challenge making a difference already. I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t know what it is. I can’t see it. I’m not even sure I can feel it. I just know I am changed. I am at peace.

July 1st--Day Two

I am not brand new to Bikram yoga, but I am no seasoned veteran either. I was first introduced to this yoga in May of 2007 during a visit to my brother who lives in Minneapolis and has not only practiced regularly now for years but also recently completed the Instructor’s Training in Mexico (a grueling and extraordinary accomplishment in anyone’s estimation). He blogged his experience the entire time he was there (yogashorts.blogspot.com) and it was incredible to journey along with him—me in the suburbs of Philadelphia and him all those mile away in Mexico. Anita, (Scorpio’s partner), knew of this and actually suggested that I start my own blog of my 30-day challenge on my Day Eleven. Consequently, these first entries have been written at a later date to the best of my recollection. They are things that one does not quickly forget, may never forget.

While I first learned of Bikram yoga over a year ago, finding a studio once I got back to Pennsylvania was somewhat challenging. The Bikram site lists only three studios in the state: Philadelphia, Lancaster and Berwyn. I started practicing in Berwyn, but its distance from my home kept me from being regular. However, it was how I heard of Spa Elysium in Chestnut Hill, which was conveniently only about 15 min from my home. Unfortunately, as I became regular with my practice, the studio closed. The opening of Scorpion Athletics (also only 15 min from my home) brought me much joy six months ago. If anyone questions the quality of the yoga there because it is not listed on Bikram’s website, they can rest easy. The hardest core Bikram practitioner will not be disappointed at Scorpion Athletics. It is the classic, 110-degree-torture-chamber, Bikram yoga you have come to know and love. Suffice it to say though that my yoga experience is somewhat limited. I am strong, but not particularly flexible. I am not young, but not yet old either (45 to be exact). I have no particular expectations for my next 30 days but think I will enjoy a great sense of accomplishment if I even manage to make it to the studio every day for 30 days straight. I am pleased that my challenge started on June 30th because it happens also to be my brother’s birthday and I see it as a sign of the good that will come of my willingness to commit to this.

June 30th-- Day One

I’d first considered doing the 30 day challenge earlier in June--prior to our studio being struck by lightening. At the time I was concerned that I was going to be out of town right in the middle of the challenge, for the July Fourth holiday, and I didn’t know if I could double up the classes to make up for the time I would miss. Fortunately for me, the date was changed; unfortunately for me, it was changed to the weekend that my husband was released from the hospital following a completely unexpected and very upsetting episode of congestive heart failure. I remember that first day: I was due to sign up for my next package and I told Joanne (the sweet and beautiful woman who welcomes us at Scorpion Athletics in Elkins Park, PA) that I wanted to do the challenge but that I was experiencing some personal challenges at the time and was uncertain about whether this was a good time to do it or not. She said, “Well, whatever you think is best for you right now?” She may not have meant to emphasize the “you” part of it, but that’s how I heard it. Scorpio (partner and co-owner of Scorpion Athletics) was sitting right there and as I looked over at him I thought to myself it might not be the best time but it’s the only time I have; all I have is right now, because none of us are promised tomorrow. “Given everything I’ve been through in the last week or so, thinking I was going to lose the dearest person in my life, I’m thinking it might be the perfect time.” He just smile and nodded—never said a word. And so I started.